You're all I need
by hazelmom
Summary: Pavel Chekov is gone, and his friends are devastated. One friend can't imagine surviving without him. Most members of TOS are heavily involved in this story. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

16

All I need is You

Author's note: I haven't written Star Trek before. I'm not sure how it happened, but here I am. My understanding of technology or space sucks. I have written many stories most recently for Sherlock Holmes, Ironman, In Plain Sight, and CSI. Pavel Chekov was probably my first crush ever. I know this story is about love, but I do not yet know if it is about romance. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 1

The concussion left him largely deaf on his right. Through his right ear, a medley of alarms went blaring. He choked on smoke as he pulled himself upright. The bridge was largely shrouded in the smoke, but he could smell the devastation around him.

"Report!" He shouted into the smoke. "Status!"

"Sir!" Chekov turned to find a ghastly apparition before him. James Uhuru, his number one, was sagging against a railing, his face largely gone. What remained above his mouth were bloody sockets where his eyes once were and parts of his skull still stood.

"I can't seem to see through the smoke," said the man, his voice gurgling.

Chekov rushed forward. "Jimmy, you sit down, friend. I have everything under control."

He helped the tall man slide down the railing onto the floor.

"Captain, I can report."

He turned sharply to find his Vulcan helmsperson trying to regain control of her board. "I believe that we have received a cripple blow to our core."

Chekov frowned. There was no one in this quadrant capable of sneaking up on the Tolstoy, and crippling it with one blow. It didn't matter that he was Starfleet, he was Chekov, the one who exasperated most of the Federation admiralty with his unwillingness to travel with shields down outside of Federation space. It was hell finding a chief engineer willing to put up with the power drains he constantly inflicted upon the ship.

"Engine room, Report!"

He was greeted with nothing but static.

"Engine room!"

Lt. Vare', his helmsperson, looked up. "I am showing no life signs below deck four, Sir."

His hand dug deeply into the back of her chair. "Report on all systems, Lieutenant!"

He climbed over bodies until he found the communications console. He flipped off all the alarms and began to isolate them. He found core breaches on levels five, six, and seven. There was no time to look for casualties. She'd reported no life signs, but he didn't trust those sensors. He immediately sealed the hull at level four. He almost choked on emotion, but there could be no room for it. "Be advised, Lieutenant, that the hull has been sealed at deck four."

There was another explosion from the lower decks, and the ship began to freefall through space. He gripped a railing with one hand, and managed to snag Vare' with another. Other members of his bridge crew floated lifelessly about him. The Vulcan looked at him wide-eyed.

He pushed her down toward her console. "Hold on. You need to bring up auxiliary power."

Vare' grabbed the console with both hands while her legs floated above her head. "I can't activate auxiliary power."

"Do it." He snapped.

"It's not responding, Sir."

Chekov closed his eyes for a moment. He saw Scotty pulling the lower left part of the console off the helm. "Vare', pull the lower left panel off."

"But, Sir…"

"Do it." In his head, he remembered Scotty turning to him with a twinkle, 'Laddie, there's nothing like a good short circuit to wake up things up.'"

"Pull out the blue wires on the left side of the panel and the green and red wires out of the right side."

He maneuvered himself behind her. "I'm going to climb down to so I can help. Hold on." Without another word, he grabbed her waist and pulled himself down to the console beside her.

They needed tools, but there was no time. Grabbing the red wires, he yanked hard, sending a shower of sparks up at them. Then he grabbed the blue and did the same. With these violent actions, he was able to strip a few wires of each color. He looked into her face. "You wrap the blue and the green, I'll wrap the blue and the red. Hopefully, we'll both survive the jolts of electricity."

To her credit, she merely nodded and reached for the blue and the green. Without hesitation, she wrapped them, and then screamed as the electricity ran through her. Chekov let her float away, the smell of singed flesh in the air. Then he swallowed a dry throat, licked his lips, and did the same thing with the red and green.

The electricity threw him back too, but he stubbornly grabbed a railing with his burned hand as a loud screeching sounded through the vessel. He pushed himself down to the console once more and engaged auxiliary reverse thrusters. The screeching turned into a whine, and the ship stopped falling. Gravity returned, and there was the sickening thump of bodies falling around him.

Vare' pulled herself up, her hands slick from the blood of the lost skin on her hands. Still, she headed toward the helm position, and began to draw all remaining systems in through her console.

"I want a report from security first. Who did this and where are they?" he barked.

She bent her head over her work. The smoke had largely cleared and he surveyed the room. Bodies lay everywhere. He couldn't allow himself even a ragged sigh of grief. Then he remembered Jimmy Uhuru, and he rounded the console to find him. Jimmy was sprawled face forward over the science console. Relief flooded Chekov that Jimmy was face down. He couldn't handle what had happened to the young man's face. He reached a hand into his bloody neck, searching for the carotid. It took mere seconds for him to realize that Jimmy had bled out. He lingered for a moment. Big, handsome Jimmy Uhuru was Nyota's second cousin. He'd watched Jimmy's ascent through ranks for years, and he grabbed him without hesitation when his first officer position opened. Jimmy had been Chekov's only confidante on the ship, and Pavel felt a distinct pang of loss. Jimmy, with this enthusiasm, loyalty and work ethic, reminded him much of himself in the early years.

"Sir, from what I can tell, we were hit by three cloaked ships at close range."

Chekov rose from Jimmy's side. "Impossible. What kind of ships?"

"They are largely freighter class vessels."

"And they put holes in my ship with what?"

She shook her head and he strode over and pulled up security data. It was as she'd said. None of these freighters were warrior class. Their weapons should have bounced off his hull, shields or no shields. The cloaking technology was the lesser surprise. Despite an ongoing treaty process with the Romulans, it was long suspected that they had selling their cloaking technology to private sector to whoever had the credits to pay.

Chekov looked over to the security console and saw young ensign Mandler slumped to the floor, his neck clearly snapped. Chekov couldn't stand to check another pulse. Instead, he routed security through the navigation console. Most of the sensors were out of service, but there was enough intelligence for him to know that the three ships were still there and waiting.

He slid back on the seat and closed his eyes. He had no doubt there was still dozens alive aboard his ship, and he, as yet, had failed to address them. "Open comm, Vare'."

The link was snowy, but he didn't wait for her to fix it. "Attention, all Starfleet personnel aboard the Tolstoy, this is your captain speaking." He paused for a moment as he imagined the relief flooding through frightened crewmembers stuck in cabins. "We have been attacked by unknown assailants. We are running on auxiliary power only right now. I need crew to gather up basic survival gear and head for docking bays 11 and 13."

Vare' looked up. "Those bays are below the hull breach."

Chekov grimaced and hit the comm again. "Correction. All Starfleet personnel will be evacuating to docking bays 4 and 5."

"Vare', send out distress signal code blue."

It was the code most feared by a starship crew, and he could see her start to tremble even through her Vulcan façade.

Chekov checked weapons status, and found one intact torpedo bay. He forced the crippled vessel to turn toward his assailants, and without hesitation, he unloaded torpedoes off at them. He hit them all. One exploded outright, and the other listed as fires erupted at their breach sites. He loaded up the torpedoes again, lights flickering around him, and aimed.

Vare' interrupted. "The torpedoes sapped 39% of all available auxiliary power. If you fire again, it will go up to 87%. We'll only have oxygen for three hours after that."

Chekov dropped his hand back into his lap. "We'll watch them burn."

For a moment, it felt real; a victory over his attackers. But Vare's words reminded him that there was no real victory if he allowed his crew to perish for vengeance alone. He turned to her. "Prepare to abandon bridge."

"The shuttles in those docking bays will not accommodate more than 37 people. Even if there is only enough of us left to fill two shuttles, we'll be months away from the nearest Federation outpost."

"Lieutenant, you're letting your fear take over. It's unacceptable. We will take each moment as it comes, and we'll never anticipate the worst."

She nodded slowly. "Sir, I volunteer to stay on the bridge and fire salvos if our shuttles are threatened."

"Thank you, Lieutenant, but I need you to organize crew into each docking bay. Right now, I'll stay on the bridge."

"But Sir!"

He shook his head. "I will join you as soon as possible."

After she left, he breathed a sigh of relief. He allowed his face a brief quiver, but bit his lower lip, and set his face again.

At that moment, a security sensor went off, and he detected another ship coming into the sector. It was larger than the freighters. He pored over the data for a moment and then suck in breathe deeply. The news couldn't get any worse. He aimed the remaining three torpedoes at the ship and fired everything he had.

….

Nyota remained composed on the screen. The only reaction he could see was her hand tightening on her knee. Finally, she said, "He sent a code blue."

Captain Hikaru Sulu nodded. "No one has been able to establish radio contact in the last 48 hours."

"Okay, Hikaru, what are the simple explanations? Let's get those out of the way first."

Her question was anxiety, and Sulu made no attempt to try and answer it.

"Pavel was investigating missing vessels in that sector."

"Yeah, it was a great assignment. The Tolstoy couldn't be any newer. Only holds a complement of 98, but the speed and maneuverability…It's an amazing ship."

"Don't distract me, please."

Sulu nodded. "Three ships have disappeared in that quadrant over the last six months. Counting Tolstoy, it'll be four."

"Jesus, Hikaru, could you at least try to focus."

He ran a hand over his face. "I am desperate hoping that there is way this will not be a tragedy of epic proportions. I have not allowed a single facial muscle to move in two days. I don't sleep. I don't eat. I'm sorry, Nyota. I am anything but focused right now."

She leaned forward as if in the same room. "I know, baby, I know."

"Your cousin, Jimmy, our friend, Pavel, my…" Sulu's words stuck in his throat.

"We've been through some rough ones. And Pavel always makes it out of the most unlikely situations. I can't count the number of times he's dropped himself in the middle of some kind of nonsense. Boy has proclivities for trouble. If we've learned anything, we've learned that we don't know until we know."

"Okay."

"Hikaru, look at me."

The distinguished starship captain raised his head like a repentant schoolboy.

"It's not time to grieve yet."

He nodded slowly.

"I understand your heart as well as you allow anyone. I can imagine the regrets…the desperation…the things left unsaid…I know that much about you."

He couldn't look at her.

"Put the fear away, Hikaru. Put it away now. It's doesn't help you find the Tolstoy."

"Yes," he simply.

"In order to find the Tolstoy, you have to eat and sleep, and be the ever-efficient, uber-cool, fierce Captain Sulu of the U.S.S. Excelsior. I know that you have a place to put those nasty feelings until this is over. I've seen you do it."

Hikaru sighed and met her eyes.

"I'm being hard on you, but everyone needs you right now. I need you to find Jimmy and Pavel, and all of those lovely, talented, good young people they had with them. Admiral Kirk almost hi-jacked a cruiser today. Can you picture it? Scotty and Bones were with him. They were going to set off all of their own. Luckily, Spock talked them down. Baby, you're doing this for everybody. Nobody's at peace right now. Your situation might be special, but that's all it is."

"You're right."

"I'm with you every moment, my brother. You are my priority right now."

His face reddened and he closed his eyes.

"We're going to talk every night that you're able. I will be there."

"I wish you were here," he blurted suddenly.

"You know I gotta' babysit these peace talks. Spock made it very clear to me today that he will be too busy to run herd over the three stooges in case they start itching to search for the Tolstoy again."

He shook his head. "You just referred to Admiral Kirk as a 20th century—"

"I know what I said. And now you know how I'm feeling right now. If I was doing what I wanted right now, I would be standing by your side. You know that."

"We all have our trials."

"And you're going take that Excelsior and get to the bottom of this ugliness before the original command crew of the Enterprise takes after them in a second rate passenger shuttle. They still think they can turn water into wine. And by God, they'll do it too."

….

Lieutenant Walma Riggs looked up as Sulu entered the bridge. His face, as usual, was a blank slate for everyone except Lt. Riggs. She was half Betazoid, a fact that didn't endear her to Starfleet. Few on board knew of her ethnicity. Her orders were to focus on navigation duties, and stay out of everyone's head.

She couldn't help it with Sulu though. He was always so inscrutable. It was maddening, and this thing with the Tolstoy was craziness. Captain Sulu's friendship with Captain Chekov was known throughout the ship.

The year earlier, Chekov had spent three months on the Excelsior in order to help ready it for inspection. Chekov was unforgettable. No one had ever been drilled so hard or held crew so accountable before and since that period. Chekov was tough, merciless even, and he would have been considered heartless too even if he hadn't spent so much time every night in the officer's club.

People came in dejected after a day of his tyranny, and he'd sit down and listen to them. He was open to telling stories about his own struggles with failure. He urged them to never accept defeat. Soon every officer on board was heading to the club in the evenings. And at some point every evening, he'd sit back and start telling stories about the early days before the Federation had treaties with the Klingons and the Romulans. Stories of the Enterprise A and Admiral Kirk were legends and Chekov seemed to have endless tales of Kirk's bravery and the exploits of their voyages.

Even Captain Sulu would stroll in- a rare event at the O club. He'd buy drinks for the table, and then he'd sit next Chekov, completely relaxed, and listen to him tell the old stories. He didn't even stop him when Chekov would pull out old Sulu tales. The Excelsior crew began to feel like they really knew those old heroes: Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Uhuru, Bones, and even helmsman, Sulu.

The inspection finally happened and the ship got an unheard of perfect score. One night, Chekov announced in the officer's club that he was leaving for a new assignment. Walma Riggs was there, and the angst she felt rising up in Captain Sulu had stunned her. Her captain, the bravest man she knew, sat next to his friend with feelings so deep they took her breath away. To everyone's shock, Chekov even reached over at one point and put his hand over Sulu's, and the captain never flinched. Acted like it was normal thing.

As Sulu coolly surveyed the bridge, Lt. Riggs knew more than anyone else on the ship, the war of emotions raging within him. She'd long known she'd follow him into the gates of Hell, and to feel how deeply his heart was at stake only strengthened her resolve.

….

Sulu surveyed the Tolstoy silently, his officers standing around him. They had been at the crash site on a class M for two days now, and Sulu had avoided coming down until this moment.

The frigid wind of the barren planet took hold of his cape and whipped it roughly about his shoulders. "Let's start with the timeline."

Commander Aguilera stiffened. "It's still under some debate, Sir."

He turned dark eyes on her. "I want a report, Commander."

"Yes, Sir, what we know is that the Tolstoy was attacked in the fourteenth sector of the 42nd quadrant. We found traces of fuel from as many three freighters…"

He narrowed his eyes. "Freighters, not warships."

"Yes, Sir, but we also found signature vapors from a Gorn ship."

Sulu nodded curtly. "Timeline please."

"Yes…we believe that the Tolstoy was caught in a sneak attack. We've reviewed the damage to the ship. They received a crippling blow near the engine room. The hull was closed off at deck four." She waited for comment, but upon hearing none, she continued, "A distress signal was sent out. We believe the ships core failed and it went into freefall. We have evidence on the bridge that auxiliary power was accessed and stopped the fall. The bridge also sent salvos, hitting the freighters. Other torpedoes were shot at the Gorn ship."

"Status of these ships."

"We found wreckage from two freighters. We believe a third one might've limped away. There is evidence of damage to the Gorn ship, but it was not fatal. We believe that the Gorn ship sent troops to battle on board the Tolstoy. The doctor has better information on this, but we think that combat happened over the course of 3-4 hours. Then the ship drifted until it was captured in this planet's gravity"

Sulu nodded and walked away.

….

The bridge was burnt and twisted, but Sulu climbed in through a breach after some of his techs. Bodies had been removed, but there were streaks of blood everywhere. One of his techs knelt in front of the helm, peering at a number of burnt wires. Sulu knelt beside him. "Do you understand what happened here, Ensign?"

The young man looked up, startled. "Not really, Sir."

Sulu took the wires. "When the core failed and the ship went into freefall, the helm attempted to engage auxiliary. Imagine it. They were at zero gravity at this moment." Sulu sighed. "When auxiliary power didn't engage…someone pulled out the console and rewired the circuits. A brilliant little piece of work, really. It allowed them to fight, and attempt to escape."

Sulu held onto the wires for a long moment. He knew exactly who'd rewired the helm console. For a moment, he imagined Chekov as he feverishly worked to keep his ship afloat. The intensity…the passion…Sulu let go of the wires as if they were alive again.

…..

His chief medical officer was in docking bay four. She was jittery, her arms wrapped tightly around her body.

"What is your report, Dr. Flis?"

She pushed stubborn red curls off her face. "There are 110 bodies on this ship. 53 of them were Gorn warriors. Of the 57 stafleet personnel, 32 likely died in the first attack, and 25 perished in combat with the Gorn."

Sulu nodded but kept his distance. Her nervousness threatened to envelope him.

"Some of my staff…we've never encountered anything like this. There will be need for de-briefing…I'm worried that some will need counseling."

"Dr. Flis, this is terrible for all of us, but we cannot start to unravel, particularly members of the command staff. Do you understand me?"

She looked away. "Yes, Sir."

He patted her lightly on the hand. "Your people are doing excellent work. Focus on how you're honoring them right now with your care. You are a witness to their struggle."

She frowned at him. "I don't know…"

He looked her directly in the eyes. "This could have been us. If it had been, and others were here at the scene at our last stand, what would you want from them? How would want them to honor us?"

Hers eyes filled and she nodded. "I understand you, Sir."

….

He wished it would be Nyota only, but his nightly communications had become quite popular, and so now he faced a screen with many familiar faces, including Admiral Kirk, Ambassador Spock, Captain Scott, Dr. McCoy, and Nyota.

He forced himself to clinically repeat the findings his staff had made. When he finished, his mouth felt completely dry.

"We're still missing 41 Starfleet personnel, Captain."

He nodded. "I know, Admiral. There is evidence that one shuttle might have escaped. We're scouring the area, but even that shuttle couldn't have housed more than 19 people."

"How did the remaining 22 people disappear?" McCoy had been too agitated to sit, pacing behind where the others were seated.

Sulu sighed. "It's only a theory, but I think I know what happened. I believe Chekov fired two sets of torpedoes at the freighters and then at the Gorn ship. He drained most of the auxiliary power with those actions. I believe that he refused to surrender to the Gorn. I think they transported several Gorn troops unto the Tolstoy. There was hand-to-hand combat. I believe that Chekov and his crew would have fought them for days, but the oxygen levels were so depleted. Gorn aren't as oxygen dependent as Humans and Vulcans. I think 25 members of his crew fought them to their death. I think the rest passed out from lack of oxygen. I believe that the Gorn took as many as 22 members of unconscious Starfleet personnel onto their ship."

"Sons of bitches," Scotty muttered under his breath.

"Do we know enough about the Gorn to know what happened next?" Bones asked.

James Kirk stood up. "We don't know the Gorn well. We've had skirmishes with them over the years. You all remember one in particular. I don't believe that the Gorn have a system of honor that would allow them to recognize our people as prisoners of war."

Spock nodded. "There have been unconfirmed reports that Gorn have used prisoners for sport or to sell them as slaves."

McCoy wheeled toward Sulu. "The next step is for you to find them."

There was a long silence on both ends.

"What's wrong with that idea?" McCoy yelled.

Kirk took him by the arm. "Bones, calm down. You have to understand that part of the quadrant. There is little law and order there. Sending a Federation starship through on a search mission isn't a good idea. The Excelsior would stick out like a sore thumb. The Gorn are hard to find and Starfleet isn't any more respected in that quadrant of space than they are. I don't think Sulu would get anywhere and he certainly wouldn't get any local cooperation."

"I think this is a perfect chance to work with the Mingi tribes."

Scotty frowned at Spock. "What are you talking about? Who are these Mingi?"

"They are a tribal people who engage in trading between planets. They will trade anything including people, weapons, and stolen goods. They are quite prevalent in that quadrant."

Scotty cursed. "I hate slavers."

"However, they are not under our jurisdiction, and they have no particular qualms with Starfleet at present. We've recently offered to double any bounty the Mingi find on Starfleet personnel. They are very motivated to find our people and return them. They will buy them at auction, if necessary. They are known as procurers for private buyers."

"This is wild!" McCoy shouted.

"I have to agree with the doctor!" Sulu said. "Do you really think a slaver tribe would have more success than the Excelsior?"

"If we want to retrieve Starfleet personnel, yes. Once, they are safe, we can send in big guns to find Gorn ships." Admiral Kirk sat down again.

"Admiral's right," Nyota said softly.

"Sulu, your people need to bring the Tolstoy bodies home now. You have to bring in your findings. We're not cowboys anymore. Those days are gone."

"From the horse's mouth himself," muttered Bones.

Nyota Uhuru leaned forward. "Have you made identifications on the recovered bodies? Have you done notifications?"

"Yes. I don't know if it's ultimately good or bad news, but Pavel Andreivich Chekov was not among the bodies."

Sighs of relief sounded around the room. It was only in this space with these people that they could share their preference for a particular person.

Sulu took a breath. "Gentlemen, I ask if you could leave the room while I talk to Nyota in private."

She stiffened. "Oh my God! You have Jimmy's body!"

…..

Next week sometime


	2. Chapter 2

13

All I Need is You

Author's A/N: There's not much readership for this story, I'm not complaining. It's a story I have wanted to tell for a long time. Just been too intimidated to write science fiction. The title is too sappy but too late for that. As for romance, slash, whatever…I don't know. I don't write slash, but I don't have a problem with two men in love. I will write what I feel, and right now I just don't know where it's going. Read at your own risk. What I can promise you is a journey worth taking with room for all the characters we love so well.

Chapter 2

Uhuru walked as fast as she could down the ornate hallways of the Vulcan Embassy. The Vulcan ceremonial robes she wore were heavy and long. She tripped on a hem, and stumbled against a wall. Around her, Vulcans and other diplomats from the Federation and beyond stopped and stared at her.

It was always the atmosphere here. The rules of diplomatic engagement were elaborate. She had walked too fast and fallen against a wall. It wasn't done. It was the antithesis of real decorum. She nodded politely at the bystanders, feeling the embarrassment rise in her cheeks. Then she remembered what she knew that her friends didn't. Gathering up the heavy robes around her knees, she kicked off her stiff Vulcan shoes, and started to run. It was both unsightly and liberating.

She raced down the hallway, entered the rotunda, and took the winding marble staircase two steps at a time. She was breathing heavy when she reached the large oak doors, but didn't wait. She pushed them open, displaying a huge room with a square table at which 50-60 diplomats. Heads turned and she scanned the room until she found Ambassador Spock and Admiral Kirk sitting next to him. A lock of hair fell onto her face, and she stood there in full spectacle, bare feet and robes gathered around her legs.

Knowing them for almost 30 years had to count for something, and so she just stood there in silence. Admiral Kirk calmly turned back to the table and suggested that they break early for lunch. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and found tears on her face, and so she kept her head bowed as the diplomats passed out of the room on either side of her.

She heard a shout, and turned to see Bones and Scotty trotting down the hall toward her. Scotty got there first and caught her arms. She took a deep breath and said, "I know things."

Bones got there and herded them both into the conference room, shutting the doors behind him. Uhuru put a hand on her chest and looked up with teary eyes. "The Mingi report that they have purchased 37 Starfleet crewmembers from a private buyer, formerly of the U.S.S. Tolstoy."

She took a deep breath. "They are hoping to rendezvous with a starship within the next few days. I volunteered the U.S.S. Sarafina for the mission. I shouldn't have…without your permission…My duty is here, of course, but…I know I can help them…"

Scotty grabbed Bones, and hugged him hard while doctor merely focused on detangling himself. Kirk slapped Spock on the back and came over, picking Uhuru up and twirling her around. He put her down, kissed her soundly on the cheek, and announced, "That's fantastic news!"

She rubbed the tears away and stood tall, "Sir, I respectfully request that the Sarafina be released from these negotiations temporarily so that we may rendezvous with the Mingi and bring our people home."

Kirk smiled widely. "Permission granted, Captain."

"My ship can be ready to leave dock in 6 hours, Sir."

"I'll put my stuff together. You aren't going anywhere without me." Bones declared.

"Aye! And you'll be taking me as well. They don't need me around here drinking up the bourbon and saying various undiplomatic things."

Kirk looked at Spock for a moment, but then shook his head. "I would give my right arm to go with you. Spock would too, but we're needed here. It would be too disruptive to the process."

Spock nodded. "The Admiral is correct, we must stay, but I think the U.S.S. Sarafina is just the right ship for this mission."

She smiled at him, and brushed away the ongoing tears. It had a rough month for her. She'd travelled to Africa to personally escort Jimmy's body home. She made sure he was cremated before the journey. The horror of his missing face would never be known to them. The family had been so proud of him, and her aunt held onto her for days, begging for stories of his service in Starfleet and she had little to say that hadn't already been said.

Scotty sat down. "Nyota, do you have the details? Do you know which 37 they have?"

Uhuru bit her lip for a moment. Then she looked at her old friends. "I don't know the details, but I do know Pavel's not among them."

"I suspected as much," Scotty sighed.

They all sat down for a moment in silence. Kirk smiled grimly. "Can you imagine Chekov in captivity? The few times he experienced it were not good. I'm sure he was their worst nightmare from the first minute to the last."

"It's true," Scotty nodded. "I spent three days in a cell with him when we were detained by the Klingons on Ceti-Alpha 5. The boy was just not programmed to submit. He stayed defiant no matter how many beatings they gave him. I was sure he would get himself killed then."

Bones slammed the table with his fist. "I'm not ready to give up on him."

Kirk shook his head. "We're not giving up, Bones. We know the man...all of us. I can't imagine him doing anything but protecting his crew, and antagonizing the Gorn every step of the way. Chekov could be as stubborn as a pack mule when he gets pushed, and he was more than pushed this time. Used to scare me to bits when I saw him hold his ground rashly on Away Missions."

Scotty shook his head. "Remember when he was nothing but a shaggy headed boy: so naïve and yet so brilliant."

Bones looked away.

"He was quite remarkable," Spock said slowly. "Such a combination of youth and innocence with ferocity and competence."

Kirk nodded. "What I really remember are the moments when he showed the heart of a lion."

Spock frowned at him.

Kirk shrugged. "It's an impossibly old colloquialism meaning that he was a man of integrity, generosity, loyalty…take your pick."

"I'm not ready to talk about him in the past tense," Bones said stiffly.

"Maybe the miracles will just keep on coming," Nyota said, putting her arm on his. "I'm not ready to give up on him either."

….

Sulu lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He replayed the conversation with Nyota over and over. She had called, so excited, so hopeful, and he'd reciprocated until he found out that Pavel was not among them. The disappointment was crushing.

She had suggested that the Excelsior join them in retrieving the survivors, but he responded with nothing but excuses about how they needed to stay to return to the Tolstoy crash site and continue to analyze the results of the crash. He knew she could sense his avoidance, but she didn't push.

He wanted to be generous enough to help transition Pavel's crew back to the Federation, but he couldn't find it in his heart. He'd been friends with Pavel Chekov for 30 years. For a brief time on the Enterprise, when he was a lieutenant and Chekov an ensign, they had even been lovers, but the intensity of it was too much for either of them. Their commitments to their careers trumped their emotions, and it was clear that one had to be sacrificed for the other. Impossibly, it hadn't destroyed their friendship.

Still, as the years had past, he'd begun to recognize that his life felt most rich and full when his crazy, brilliant Russian was at his side. The three months Chekov had spent with him on the Excelsior had really brought this into focus. The ache he felt when Chekov left his ship last year consumed him.

He had opportunities to talk with him about these revelations, but he never pursued it. Hikaru Sulu was afraid where honesty would take them. And now, it was too late. He would never know, and the aching and the regret he felt would live with him forever.

He had another reason to stay close to the investigation. Others were involved now, and remarks had begun to surface about Chekov's competence. Clearly, it was easier to believe than the idea that three freighters and a Gorn warship snuck up and destroyed Starfleet's latest starship with a new and powerful weapon. He'd heard the beginnings of these kinds of rationalizations, and if Chekov's legacy was all he had left to hold onto, he would do his damnedest to preserve it.

….

Former Helm Officer Vare' sat stiffly before them. She had just related much of what they had suspected happened on the bridge of the Tolstoy 32 days earlier.

She was Vulcan, and so attention to her emotions seemed unnecessary, but Uhuru was struck by how pale she'd become.

"Perhaps, we should take a break."

Vare' shook her head sharply. "I wish to continue my debriefing now."

Uhuru looked at Scotty but he merely shrugged.

"Captain Chekov asked you to leave the bridge and to organize search parties in docking bays 4 and 5, correct?"

"Yes."

"What happened then?"

Vare' chewed on her lower lip. "As I was riding the lift, I heard the Captain release three more torpedoes."

"Despite your warning that further combat would cripple auxiliary function."

"It was not my place to question my captain's decisions. Later, when I learned that the Gorn ship had appeared, it became quite logical."

Uhuru nodded.

"When I got to the bays, there were almost 60 people gathered, some wounded. It was predictably chaotic. We had access to two shuttles, and crew clearly understood that only 2/3 of those gathered would find a seat on them."

Vare' rubbed her fingers together before continuing. "The captain arrived 10 minutes later. He stood on a bulkhead and explained what had happened. He said that he had sealed off the bridge. The Tolstoy was no longer a working starship. He said that a Gorn warship had been hit by his torpedoes, but was still standing. He said that their commander had demanded an unconditional surrender, and that he had refused the terms. I remember how quiet it was when he talked. He didn't need to raise his voice at all. We listened as one."

"Access to both the bridge and the engine room were cut off at this point," Scotty noted.

Her eyes darted to him nervously. "The captain committed us to a course of action. We were dead in space. Our only options were capture or to fight to the death. The captain was committed and we were obligated to follow him. We were a team; no one questioned the captain."

There was silence. Scotty wanted to lean over and explain that he wasn't questioning Chekov. In fact, Chekov did what few captains were capable of; he didn't wait and hope for the best, giving Gorn access to all of their latest technology. Chekov moved boldly like another celebrated officer he knew. He could have leaned over and explained this, but he suspected he wouldn't be telling the young Vulcan anything she didn't already know.

"He asked for volunteers to stay and fight. Most of us were willing. He had a hard time filling that first shuttle. The shuttle launched about 15 minutes before the first waves of Gorn troops beamed aboard. We had some tactical advantage. We killed at least two or three times more than they did to us. We could have fought for days. I still dream of the possibilities we would have had if our environmental systems didn't shut down. We fought like warriors. I want it to be understood the captain and his crew demonstrated the best of Starfleet training, discipline, and bravery."

"As we would imagine from Captain Chekov and his crew," Uhuru said softly.

"We lost consciousness one by one. Said good-bye to each other when we could. Expected a soldier's death; we were content to accept one, in fact…" Her voice trailed away at this point.

"What do you remember next?"

"We woke, 41 of us, in a large, cold cell. Those from the escaped shuttle were dropped in there with us. It stank badly. It took most of the day for people to regain their strength. I should take a moment to mention Ensign Reyes. While everyone else had gathered extra ammunition, she had tied 2000 survival nutrient packets to her thighs and waist. We had enough nutrition for almost a month. When the captain found out, he picked her up and kissed her on the cheek. He awarded a commendation for her right there. He took a bar off his own shoulder. Said if he'd carried enough bars, he would award commendations to all of us. Ensign Reyes's commendation will honored, of course?"

"Without question," Uhuru whispered.

"The Gorn showed up the first day. Captain greeted them at the door and demanded to see the ship's commander. They tried to push him aside, and he broke the neck of the Gorn who had touched him. They took the captain out of the room. We didn't see him again for 36 hours." She swallowed. "Is there more water, please?"

Scotty got up and filled her glass.

Vare' nodded to him. "When the guards brought him back, he was near death: broken bones, bruises, punctures. We worked most of the night to stabilize him. The next day the Gorn came again. The captain was still unconscious. We had already drawn straws. Three of us left with them. When the captain woke up, he was quite agitated about it. He said that we weren't to cooperate with the Gorn. He was still so weak, and so we drew again. I was among those chosen. I sat with the captain. I explained that there was no other way. He would never survive another beating. He thanked me. Said that we were the finest of officers…" Vare' started coughing.

"Take your time, Lieutenant. We're in no hurry."

The Vulcan woman seemed shaky, but Uhuru knew that she wouldn't stop until they were finished.

"The next day the Gorn came, and the three of us who volunteered stood up, but the captain did too. He went to the door and engaged in a battle of words with the Gorn Sergeant. He explained that we belonged to him, and it was unacceptable that any of us be removed without his consent. It was illogical, to say the least. We had no power in this situation, but he was so fierce and sure, and finally the sergeant backed down and left. They returned hours later with the ship's commander. The captain acted as if we were property. He accused the Gorn of ignoring the basic tenets of slaving. We were in shock, but he was insistent. We were his property and the Gorn were acting like savages. Gorn guards came in the cell and dragged him out again. We never saw our captain again…"

Finally Scotty spoke. "You understand what he was trying to do?."

She nodded. "He found a language that made sense to them. He was negotiating."

"And you never saw him again?" Uhuru's eyes were soft.

"No. In fact, we didn't see anyone for 23 days. We just ate survival packs and waited. It was probably the worst time of all. Anticipation, I suppose. And the captain was gone…"

Vare' lowered her head and wiped at her face.

"What are you remembering, Lieutenant?"

"It's illogical," she whispered.

"We need to know everything, Lass."

She finally looked up with moist eyes. "He sacrificed so much and yet I was angry with him when he was taken. I felt that our situation was survivable because he was there, leading us, but then he was gone, and I felt that he should have stayed and let the rest of us volunteer in his place. He took my spot, you see. I felt abandoned."

Uhuru blinked. "That's a lot of emotions for a Vulcan, Vare'."

"We are not emotionless, Captain. We just choose to repress that which is without logic, but I have been struggling with this."

Scotty leaned forward and put his large hand on hers. It made her flinch but she didn't move. "He had faith in you, Lassie. He had faith that he could keep the Gorn from chewing you up bit by bit, and he had faith that you would stay strong until help arrived. He never gave up on you and he didn't abandon any of you. You were working together the whole time. Do you understand?"

Vare' squeezed her moist eyes shut. "Thank you, Sir. That sounds…quite logical to me."

….

"Mostly, they are suffering from malnutrition and inadequate medical care, physically." Bones talked at the screens with Kirk and Spock and Sulu on the other. Uhuru and Scotty sat beside him at the conference table.

"And psychologically?" The admiral asked.

Bones sighed. "Their trauma levels are off the chart. It's going to be at least 6 months before any of them are cleared for duty."

"I agree," said Uhuru. "Scotty and I listened to stories all day. They have traumas which include losing the ship, the loss of friends, hand-to-hand combat, capture by the Gorn, and the loss of their captain."

"One important point though is that the every member of the Tolstoy crew feels a great deal of pride and honor in all actions they took and in the actions of their captain." Scotty added.

Kirk nodded. "It will make the healing process easier."

"When did they last see Chekov alive?"

Uhuru turned to Bones. "They didn't see him again after the first three days in captivity."

"It was a work of pure genius, really," said Scotty. "He convinced the idiot Gorn that his crew was his property, and that they needed to deal with him around questions of sale. We certainly can't speculate on what happened next, but the crew wasn't harassed again for 23 days. I even believe that he convinced the Gorn to sell his crew to the Mingi."

"You believe he would have known about our arrangement with the Mingi?"

Spock nodded. "Mr. Chekov always stayed quite current on the latest classified bulletins."

"Aye, he treated those bulletins like they were prize winning literature."

Uhuru shook her head. "Why didn't he convince them to sell him as well?"

"Because he was stubborn and impossible, and in the end, the Gorn destroyed him out of rage." Sulu spoke for the first time.

"We don't know what really happened," Scotty reminded him gently.

Sulu nodded. "We all want to believe the best, but I can't see another outcome."

Kirk turned to him. Sulu was always thin, but now he seemed to be all bones. "How is the investigation proceeding?"

"It has me worried. A Starfleet team began a study today on the feasibility that some of the Tolstoy damage happened through a collision with an asteroid in its free fall. The admiralty team also excluded me from a meeting today. Tomorrow, I believe they will announce a committee to review Chekov's command decisions."

"Typical bureaucrats!" Bone growled.

Scotty slapped the table. "I listened to people all day today tell me the same story! Chekov acted correctly, and his crew will corroborate this!"

Kirk sighed. "But then Starfleet has to face the specter of a weapon capable of tearing a starship core in a single shot without warning in a quadrant that holds no such threats or capabilities. It is much easier to believe that Chekov and his crew weren't alert or, perhaps, Chekov acted rashly. His…emotionality, his…creativity as such, has never endeared him to the admiralty. It's easy to conclude that Chekov overreacted and destroyed his own ship."

"I'll not stand for it!" Scotty shouted. "I listened to them through their tears and their terror. They fought honorably! Chekov was a hero! I'll not listen to another word of this."

"Exactly, Scotty, and you're just what Sulu needs right now. There's nobody in Starfleet better equipped to evaluate that ship's hull than you."

"I'll take a shuttle within the hour!"

Sulu smiled grimly. "Take a breath, Scotty. I'll send a shuttle in the morning. I'll send you the data we have tonight."

"May I suggest that Admiral Kirk also join you on the Excelsior?" said Spock.

Kirk turned to Spock and hesitated. "It isn't ideal. The talks?"

"But it can be accommodated, Admiral. Allowing others to come to hasty, erroneous judgments about a lost friend cannot be accommodated, Sir."

Kirk looked at Sulu. "A shuttle for me as well, please."

Sulu looked relieved. "I'll be grateful for whatever you can do."

…..

McCoy left his mouth set in a perpetual frown for the time he had to spend among the Mingi. The burly Mingi reminded him a little of old time backwoodsman from his home. They were practical and direct. They talked like men who had nothing to lose. Selling intelligent life forms was business, nothing more, nothing less. McCoy preferred not to deal with them at all, but they were willing to retrieve Starfleet personnel from hostiles, and he was determined that they would have better supplies to treat them when they came onboard.

He was showing a group of these big monoliths how to rehydrate humans when he heard the Mingi captain growl a question to one of his nurses, "We're still not clear on your policy regarding broken down humans. Don't imagine you still give the full price on that?"

Something about stole his breath, and he stopped what he was doing and walked over. "Can you tell me what you mean by broken down human?"

The bushy face scowled. "There were an extra one, but our scans showed that he was quite broken. Them Gorn don't know how to repair humans, and any other species for that matter. They would only take full price for him, and it struck me wrong that we should pay full price for such a damaged one."

McCoy swallowed hard. "We will always reimburse you full price for Starfleet crew, broken or fully functional."

The captain nodded with a puzzled look on his face and started to walk off. McCoy grabbed him by the arm. "What happened to this broken down human?"

Captain growled a bit at being handled. "We offered half price. Gorn wouldn't abide by it. We couldn't imagine we'd get full ransom for product so damaged."

"You left him with the Gorn." McCoy struggled not to start yelling.

"It was a bad deal."

"Captain, if you wish to have further economic success with Starfleet, I would suggest that you get back on the line with the Gorn and make a deal for that human. Now!"

The Mingi face clouded. "Ain't going to be pushed around by no runt of a human."

McCoy took a breath. "We will reimburse you five times the price for which you purchase him."

The Mingi wrinkled his brow and considered this for a moment. "Gorn will be suspicious with us coming back with new designs on their capture. Plus I would guess they finished him by now."

McCoy grabbed him by the arm. "We don't know until we know. I want that human. Do you understand me? A good one. Now let's go find what passes for communications on this rust bucket."

…...

I have a lot of passion for this story and the update will come sometime in the next week.


	3. Chapter 3

You're all I Need

Author's note: I am still having fun with my stupidly named story. McCoy is definitely the hero for this chapter. I have never lacked for readership like this, but in many ways I am writing this for me. My days as a kid daydreaming were often of Chekov the hero. I appreciate that the romance gets in the way for some of you. That's okay. I have been a long time advocate of GLBT people. I don't know if people make a distinction here between slash and romance. I think of slash as sex, and I'm just not into writing that. I think of romance a bit differently.

Chapter 3

"You're a foolish, old man, Leonard," McCoy whispered to himself when he got off the comm with Uhuru. Convincing her that he was going to spend a couple of days with the Mingi to help them work with their new medical supplies made no real sense to either of them. It was all he could do to get her from sending a security detail after him.

The other alternative was to inform her and everyone that he was travelling with the Mingi back to the Gorn ship. He could imagine the firestorm that would have caused. There would have been discussions on top of discussions on top of discussions before a highly convoluted plan was hatched. A broken down Starfleet officer on a Gorn ship didn't have time for all that. As it was, when he and the captain contacted the Gorn ship, they were rather non-commital about possession of an extra Starfleet, broken down or otherwise.

He leaned back in the old console chair the Mingi captain had given him and sighed deeply. He was, indeed, a damn fool. Uhuru would puzzle over his excuses for only a day or two before she contacted Kirk, and if he wasn't careful with how he handled this, he was going to deepen his friends' grief by two. He closed his eyes and tried to nail whatever kind of cocked eyed story he was going to use once he reached the Gorn ship.

….

Scotty was making trouble at the crash site, and it stirred the first emotion akin to amusement that Sulu had felt since this whole thing had started. Scotty waltzed into the project area without even acknowledging the chain of command and began going over the findings. It was a terrible affront only softened by the fact that Scotty, in engineering circles, was legend. Every tech in the room had probably dreamed of working for Montgomery Scott at one time or another. Scotty would have them eating out of his hand by the end of the day.

Undoubtedly, there would be noses bent out of shape over this, but Sulu was certain that Chekov would need the best advocacy their ranks and reputations could offer. Scotty began arguing with a project manager about the variables he'd chosen for an analysis, and Sulu took that moment to slip away. There would be plenty of aggrieved researchers searching for him soon enough. He needed the peace and quiet of the observation deck right now. The Enterprise had travelled parts of this quadrant when he was a helmsman, and he found that if he looked out on the stars, it brought memories back of the early days sitting next to a nervous Russian navigator with a thick head of hair.

…..

Leonard wore a heavy dark cloak with a staff. It was a slightly ridiculous get up, but he needed something that would separate him from anything Starfleet. The Mingi captain allowed this charade only because Leonard McCoy had withdrawn every penny of his Starfleet savings, and to the Mingi, this represented a considerable fortune.

As to the condition of the man aboard, the Gorn were so circumspect that Bones suspected he would have only a corpse to retrieve. Nonetheless, he solemnly followed the Mingi captain as he docked on the Gorn docking bay. McCoy didn't feel fear. As a man overly experienced with dangerous situations, he only felt a sense of heightened alertness. Death had long ago stopped being the worst of all outcomes. He just hoped his wits would be enough to fool these beasts.

The Gorn captain came forward, and McCoy wrinkled his nose. He'd forgotten how foul they smelled; it was as if they cultivated as much odor as possible. The Gorn looked at him long and hard, and Bones did the best he could to meet his glare.

"You look Starfleet to me?" He looked sharply at the Mingi captain. "Did you bring Starfleet onto my ship?"

To his credit, the Mingi captain glared back. "That would be an unforgivable offense, and it would ruin the lucrative relationship we enjoy with one another."

McCoy pulled his hood back, sorry only that his hair wasn't less meticulously cut. "I come here on behalf of private citizens. We are not affiliated with Starfleet."

"You wish to rescue him, to rehabilitate him. This is unacceptable. He has been the worst Starfleet beast we ever held. Nothing less than further torture would satisfy us in this transaction."

McCoy nodded slowly. "Further degradation of the man would satisfy us as well."

The Gorn captain scowled, and Bones got the impression that he had only seconds before the Gorn was going to have him by the throat."

"I represent the families who lost loved ones on the Tolstoy. Your human has brought tremendous grief to a number of them, and they wished to see him punished."

"Starfleet would prevent this," the captain said warily.

McCoy stepped closer and spoke harshly. "We do not work with Starfleet. They have given us nothing but lies about what has happened. They are trying to convince us that the Tolstoy disaster could not be avoided. They refuse to acknowledge the recklessness and arrogance of Captain Chekov."

"And what will you do to him?"

McCoy was tempted to elaborate, but it dawned him that suspicion was the cornerstone of all Gorn relationships. "It is not of your concern."

The captain folded his arms. "That tells me nothing."

"We will put him on trial ourselves and dispense our own justice. Starfleet will never know of this."

Somehow, that seemed to appeal to the captain. "What is your price?"

McCoy set his mouth. "It is dependent on his condition. It is not even clear that he still lives."

The Gorn captain chuckled. "He was almost gone when the Mingui, but we have shot him up with various drugs left from the Starfleeters we sold."

"I need to see him before we can set a price."

The Gorn captain led them deeply into the dark, dank ship until he came to a door. A guard opened it, and a stench blew out at them. McCoy did his best to keep his face impassive. It was a large room and cold, and in the center laid a human being on his stomach, his muscles lightly twitching.

McCoy nodded and pulled out his equipment. The Gorn captain started to protest, but he raised a hand fiercely. "I have to analyze him. It is important that we have a viable Starfleet officer to punish."

His hand trembled slightly and so he let the sleeve of the cloak fall over it. The readings were desperate. Undoubtedly, they had dosed him with some sort of stimulation, probably adrenaline, but it was damaging what little heart function was left. He knelt down and pulled the hair off the man's face. It was hard to know whom he had. Bruising, broken nose, missing teeth, broken cheek, and swelling obscured his appearance. It didn't fool Bones though. There was something unmistakable about slight but muscled body and his profile was still that of a proud Russian man. His tricorder began to list off other broken bones, bones that were badly set, internal bleeding, and a host of other damage. Bones knew that it would take all of his skill to repair a human body in this condition.

Instead of beginning treatment, he willed himself to stand up again and face the Gorn captain. "What are you asking for him?"

The captain gestured with his head. "The Mingi refused to pay the 10,000 credits we asked."

McCoy nodded. "The Mingi don't have a score to settle with the man. I will offer you 12,000 for him. I want to give you credits for keeping him alive."

The Gorn's eyes widened. "If he is that valuable, perhaps I should be asking for 15,000."

McCoy imagined that this might be an exercise the Gorn could play out for hours and he didn't have that kind of time. He pulled out a credit pad, and showed the Gorn the 13,245 credits he'd placed on it. "This is what I have. There is no more time to haggle if I am to suitably revive him for his trial."

The Gorn stared at it for a long moment. Then he grunted and snatched it out of Bones' hand. "The human beast is yours."

There was still no time to breath. McCoy asked two of the Mingi to carefully carry Chekov onto the ship. The Gorn offered refreshments, but McCoy literally coughed bile up over the offer. He rudely indicated no, and rushed the Mingi back to their ship.

…..

Kirk looked tersely at the screen. "It's that damn fool, Bones. He's gotten all cryptic and run off with the Mingi. Uhuru is beside herself, and the Mingi are maintaining radio silence. It took me 18 hours to shuttle to the crash site. Then 6 hours later, Uhuru is telling me this sad tale. Now, I'm on another shuttle for 12 hours over to Uhuru's location. I swear to God, Spock, I am of no use to anyone being shuttled around like a box of supplies."

Spock furrowed his brow. "I can not quite imagine his motivation for this."

Jim wagged a finger at him. "The Mingi have hoodwinked him into something. They have fooled him into thinking Chekov is still alive, and they have taken off with him and they are going to sell him. They are slavers, dammit."

"Dr. McCoy is quite aged to be sold into slavery. I thought slavers focused only on young, healthy specimens."

"You're not helping, Spock. McCoy is a high ranking member of Starfleet, and undoubtedly he is being sold to whoever is holding the greatest animus towards us currently."

"Yes, that is quite a list, but it would surprising to learn that any of them have particular designs on medical officers."

"Uhuru should never have let him board that Mingi vessel."

"Jim, she is hardly to be blamed. He outranks her."

"I know. I'm sorry. Forget I said that. To lose both in such proximity of one another; I don't know how we would recover." Kirk's face was turning red in frustration.

"I'm on my way."

"You can't leave the talks!"

"There is a clause exempting Vulcans during their time of Pon Farr."

"Spock, are you feeling your oats again? That is quite a stretch, even for you."

"Nonetheless, it will not be questioned. It is a Vulcan rite, and as such, is something of great privacy. I shall join you sometime tomorrow."

"Can the negotiations continue?"

Spock nodded. "The delegates are quite stressed. A few days of rest might be just what is needed."

…

Bones wouldn't let the Mingi break radio silence. They were still only hours away from the Gorn, and he couldn't trust that the Gorn ship, with its warp capabilities, wouldn't be all over them like a cheap rug. There was another reason he couldn't break radio silence. As of yet, he had little to say.

His work on Chekov largely consisted of stabilization at this moment. Anything more was too much for the man's vitals, and he'd already gone into cardiac arrest twice. McCoy only had a handful of the supplies that he truly needed for this. There was no way to actually relax until he was in the sickbay of the Sarafina."

He injected nutrients regularly at almost imperceptible levels so as to not shock the system. Other than that, he worked on pain management and cleaning the Gorn grime off his body. McCoy had only seen a few men in this condition, having suffered torture for extended periods. Those he saw tended to heal physically, but floundered psychologically. He remembered suicides, insanity, and in one case, he remembered a man that became psychotic and killed his own family with his bare hands. The only man he knew who had survived extended trauma, and then went on to continue as a Starfleet officer was James T. Kirk. He knew Chekov was a rare man, but wondered if he could be as rare a man as a Jim Kirk.

….

When the Mingi came into range, McCoy signaled Uhuru that he was all right, but said nothing more. It was all still too tenuous. She started to tell him that Kirk was there, but he cut her off. He contacted sickbay on his own, and they were waiting when they docked. McCoy trotted after them once they got him on a med sled.

He held rank over everyone in sickbay, and within minutes, he had Chekov put into stasis so that the team could take the time they needed to prioritize his needs. He pulled a curtain over the window on Chekov's room and sat outside. They would need him in there soon, but right now he was an old man who hadn't slept in days, and had eaten almost nothing.

Uhuru and Kirk bust in at that moment. Jim was shaking his head, and getting ready to bellow, but Bones didn't care. He signaled a nurse for the drugs he would need to regain his strength and clarity.

"Bones, I don't even know where to start. I almost sent a fleet after you."

McCoy winced at him. "Sorry."

"What were you doing? Why would you possibly run off with slavers?"

McCoy ran a hand over his exhausted eyes. Then he pointed at the curtain. Kirk drew it back. Behind him, Uhuru gasped loudly. After staring a full minute, Kirk sat down next to his friend and whispered. "What did you do?"

"The Mingi didn't buy him from the Gorn because he was too damaged."

Kirk nodded, his mouth open. "So you went to the Gorn."

Bones turned to him with sleepy, bloodshot eyes. "Do you think Starfleet will reimburse me for any of my life savings?"

…

Scotty brought a couple of bottles of some of the finest liquor in the sector when he boarded the shuttle. He sat next to Sulu, "We'll get as drunk as lords."

Sulu waved it away. "Bones says he's in bad shape."

Scotty put the bottles down and sighed. "It was a terrible thing he endured. I can't contain my excitement though. He's alive, Hikaru."

Unexpectedly, Sulu looked at Scotty with moist eyes. "It's unbelievable. Unthinkable. I refused to even entertain the idea."

"Ya' were protecting yourself, Lad. I know how much you care for him."

Sulu nodded. "We have always been the best of friends."

Scotty locked his grey eyes on him. "Aye, but it's a bit more than that for the two of you as well."

Sulu stiffened.

"It's okay, Hikaru."

"Others think this as well?"

Scotty took a deep breath. "I can remember a time in the early years when the Captain considered moving the two of you to different shifts."

Sulu stared. "Neither of us said anything to anyone. He promised me."

"Sometimes, nobody has to say anything to anybody. You should know that by now with your own crew."

"It's complicated, Scotty."

"Of course, it is. The two of you are a couple of hardhead military men, not truly content unless you're pushing yourselves to the limit. It doesn't make for a happy home life. If you've noticed, none of us are married."

"I don't even know what I feel."

Scotty pulled the cork on a fine whiskey and poured two glasses. "Sure you do. And I know this, my friend, because before this news you looked to me like a man who was dying by inches."

Sulu said nothing.

Scotty handed him a drink. "Hikaru, your heart is telling you that being with Chekov makes you feel the kind of joy you find in nothing else. Whatever that will mean for the future of either of you is anyone's guess?"

Sulu took the whiskey and thought on it for a moment. "He survived the Gorn. I mean, that's gotta' him the toughest son of a bitch in two galaxies."

Scotty smiled and clinked glasses. "I'll drink to that!"

…..

McCoy took it slow with Chekov. He kept him under sedation for three days until he had repaired enough damage for Chekov to not wake screaming. Uhuru, Kirk, and the rest of them crowded the sickbay, eager for him to wake. If McCoy could, he would have banished them all. Instead, he kept them behind the glass and only allowed that for short periods of time. They all held such excitement, and it annoyed him. Chekov's struggles were only beginning, and he would do anything to keep them from upsetting the boy with their excitement.

He was analyzing the status on the healing fractures when he heard a moan. He looked up to find himself staring into Chekov's eyes.

"I didn't expect you to wake this early, Pavel."

Worried, brown eyes searched the room.

"You're safe. You're on a Starfleet vessel now."

Chekov's eyes settled back on him. "I am dead."

McCoy took a breath. "Pavel, the Gorn almost killed you, but you're tougher than an arctic muskrat. You just didn't give up."

"But I remember being on the Gorn ship and I was dying."

"I gotta' a helluva story to tell you about all that."

Chekov blinked and he took a moment. McCoy was putting his scanner down when Chekov drew in breath sharply. "My crew!"

….

McCoy finally had to call Admiral Kirk. He knew that Kirk represented security and honesty for Chekov more than anyone else in the galaxy. Chekov's pulse was racing, and he was breathing in short pants. McCoy dosed him with a sedative, but it had little effect.

Finally Kirk arrived. He had no details about Chekov's panic, but quickly took the man's hands and looked him sternly in his face. "You're okay, Captain Chekov. Do you understand me?"

Chekov nodded and his breathing slowed. Finally, he was at a point to speak, "My crew, Admiral. Where is my crew?"

Jim Kirk felt this at the core of his being. There was nothing as stirring as the responsibility a captain felt about the men and women who served him. "Some of them are here, Pavel."

"I lost so many on the Tolstoy."

"You fought admirably."

"We were 41 when the Gorn took us."

"And you saved 37 when you convinced the Gorn to sell them to the Mingi."

"They are here?"

Kirk nodded. "And recovering nicely."

Chekov's eyes blurred. "I had 98 people under my command; 98 of the most courageous, hard-working, loyal people that Starfleet had to offer. I lost two thirds of them."

Kirk shook his head. "You will not do this, Captain Chekov. Every captain faces this at one point or another. You will not let it swallow you. We are men, Chekov, not Gods. We do dangerous work and we accept the risk. Our men and women understand this. Do you understand me?"

Chekov looked lost for a moment. Then the sedative started to kick in. He turned his head away from Kirk and slowly closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: A couple of years ago I attempted my first Star Trek. Always been too intimidated by the science to really write one. It featured Chekov, my very first crush. I'm a bit of a diva, and I'm used to more attention than the story found. Plus, it was my first foray into slash, and I got PM's from people acting like it was the end of civilization as we know it. So I dropped it and I rarely ever do that with a story.

I got two reviews on it in the last week which is a huge rarity so I went back and read it. It seemed to be missing something, and I realized that I had a chapter that I had never posted to . Here is that lost chapter. If the story finds some readership, I might put some energy into finishing it. So read it if you dare, and let me know what you think. Sheila

You're All I Need

Chapter 4

Chekov was walking within a day. He stay confined to sickbay, and did well with visits from both Kirk and Spock. Kirk stayed distant with him by referring to him only by rank. That sense of authority seemed to leave Chekov grounded. Recovering crew members from the Tolstoy were eager to see him as well, but he felt too fragile for that. Uhuru visited but her softness left him unanchored and he was irritable with her. Scotty came as well, and had him in a bear hug before McCoy could intervene. Chekov trembled for hours after that.

It was days before Sulu came. Chekov knew he was on the ship, but he never asked why his best friend hadn't been pounding down his door. It was at the moment that everyone started muttering about getting back to their duties when Sulu knew his time was now.

Chekov looked thinner than he ever remembered. There were shadows on his face that had settled in as features. Chekov smiled at him when Sulu looked him up and down. "At the first glance, it ees hard to tell vhich one of us had been with the Gorn. You're as thin as I am."

Sulu blushed. "I'm trying to eat."

Chekov shrugged. "Here, you haf no choice. Bones pumps me full of calories, and I don't even haf to open my mouth."

Sulu looked down at his hands. Finally, he said, "I didn't think you could survive this. I figured that once the Gorn had you, you would be so unruly and difficult that they'd kill you for sport."

Chekov nodded. " You know me vell. I imagined the same ending."

Sulu cleared his throat. "Bones went after you on his own. Used his entire life savings."

"I heard this. I vill have to chip in if Starfleet balks at the reimbursement."

"We all will."

Chekov leaned up on an elbow. "You and I haven't been this awkward vith vun another in a long time."

Sulu bowed his head. "It almost destroyed me. I…didn't realize…."

"I understand."

"I shouldn't talk to you about this."

Chekov nodded. "Neither vun of us can handle feelings right now."

"I'm adding to your stress."

Chekov smiled. "Years ago, ve thought it vould ruin our friendship, and it didn't. Ve didn't let it then, and ve won't let it now."

Sulu nodded. "I should get back to the Excelsior. I'm hoping that the next time I see you—"

Chekov sat up abruptly. "Don't Sulu. Don't hope. I am lying to you."

Sulu frowned.

The exertion of his movement left him swaying slightly, but he looked at Sulu sharply. "Do you remember when ve vere just kids, and ve vere wrestling over who was going to have to double shift, and it turned into something unexpected?"

Sulu caught his breath. "Yes."

Chekov shifted as if to steady himself. "Vell, I barely do. I am not that man anymore. I don't know those feelings. My memories now are of sealing off the hull on my crew, Gorn beating me endlessly, my crew dying one by one, Jimmy Uhuru saying his last words to me, and pain and pain and pain. Memories of you and me, of Nyota, of the Admiral and Ambassador Spock, Bones and Scotty: they are fading away for me."

"You've just started your recovery, Pavel. Have faith."

Chekov shook his head slowly. "You know vhat happens to people after they haf experienced vhat I haf. They become angry, bitter shells if they don't kill themselves first. Their hearts beat, but they don't feel anymore."

"You're stronger than they were, Pavel."

"No, I am not. I can't even tell you vhat happened to my ship. I can't even explain vhy 61 of my people died. The only thing I hope for right now is that they court martial me for my incompetence. I vant to be banished somevhere cold and distant; somevhere that none of you can find me."

Sulu shook his head. "You need more time."

"But I vill still be bitter and broken. Don't hope for anything, Sulu."

"Bones warned us that this was coming."

"I am sure he also varned you that there are no guarantees. There is more than a good chance I von't be strong enough to survive vhat happened. Haf you had to write sympathy notes to 61 families?"

"You know I never have," Sulu said softly.

Chekov looked at him, his brown eyes watering. "How vill I do it? You can't understand vhat I am facing."

…

There was a ship wide alert in effect, but Chekov merely opened a control panel and pulled wires apart. The sound in the room ceased. He was in the officer's observation lounge on the top deck. Below, he watched a lighted docking bay as a shuttle prepared to launch. Twice, security stopped in the room searching, but Chekov turned halfway in the dim lighting, and reported that no Starfleet captain was present. He'd appropriated an Ensign's uniform, and he noted that security never questioned him further and neither team noticed he'd dismantled the alarm. He was definitely going to have to speak to Uhuru about her security department and their protocol.

He put a hand on the glass and waited. The shuttle lifted slightly and then dropped back down again. He smiled. That was a Sulu move. He was checking his thrusters, an old helms move that few still practiced.

Behind him, the door slid open again. He felt the presence, but didn't acknowledge him until Admiral Kirk was standing next to him at the window.

Kirk spied the docking bay. "Sulu's shuttle?"

Chekov nodded. "And he's piloting. It drives his people vild vhen he does that. It vould be like you taking over navigation all the years ago, and planting me in your captain's chair."

"Old habits die hard."

The shuttle burst out of the bay, did a lazy circle, and then disappeared. Chekov swallowed. "I vas cruel to him."

"He understands."

"Vhy Admiral? Vhy should he understand? I vas mean for the sake of it."

"Bones has had an alert out for almost fifty minutes. Let's give him a little piece of mind."

Chekov turned sharply. "The sick bay is…there ees no space…I feel trapped."

Kirk nodded and touched his communicator. "Bones, I found Chekov. He's alright…no, he's fine. We're talking…we'll be down in a while. Don't worry…I know his condition…yes…Kirk out!"

Chekov waited until Kirk finally broke the link. "I vorried him, and he has done nothing but save my life. I vas rude to Uhuru. Told her to stop touching me so much. Don't even ask me vhat I said to Sulu. Being here is too hard. I hurt eweryvun who cares for me. I vant to go somevhere and be alone."

"Not a chance, Captain."

Chekov winced.

"We have an investigation to conduct on the Tolstoy."

Chekov stayed silent.

"Sulu told me about your conversation before he left. He said that you're hoping for a court martial."

"I vas angry. And I still don't know vhat happened. How could thees happen vithout me understanding any of it?"

"If you say that to investigators, you will get court martialed. They're looking for an opportunity to hang this on you."

Chekov shrugged. "Maybe they should."

"Captain Chekov, look at me."

Chekov turned his hollow dark eyes to the admiral. "If they court martial you, then it's over. Starfleet will continue to send ships into that quadrant without extra security. How do you feel about that, Captain?"

Chekov dropped his head.

"I would hate the butcher's bill on Starfleet personnel to keep growing just because you gave up."

"I can't put it together, Admiral."

"That's why we need to work on this together. That's why you can't give up. We can't get to the bottom of this without you."

"I am not the person I vas."

The admiral sighed. "Nor was I after I lost the Enterprise over Khan and Spock died. Do you remember the casualty count then? I was…as angry as you are. But I made it through."

Chekov nodded. "Of course, you did. You are James T. Kirk. I have spent the last thirty years being reminded that I can never be you."

"We're different, Pavel, not better or less than. Do you want to know the truth?"

Chekov eyed him warily.

"I'm no Pavel Andreivich Chekov. What you did to save your crew will become legend in Starfleet. You have entered the realm of the few where people stop to stare as you walk by."

Chekov shivered. "I vould prefer that no vun remember. I vant nothing more than peace."

"Good to hear, Captain. Of course, it will come at a price. We have a great deal of work to do."

…..

He stayed at the door of her quarters for a moment. He wasn't sure she would want to talk to him, but Uhuru only got up out off her bed and pull him inside by the arm. He stiffened a little and she led him to a chair and then sat on her bed. "I won't bite, Pavel, and I am going to give you your space."

"I vas rude. I apologize."

She rolled her eyes. "Nobody thinks you're rude. You're stressed, Pavel, and you are healing. It's expected."

He folded his hands in his lap but avoided her eyes. "I am not the same person. Please understand this."

"I know. You've been confessing that all over the ship. You are not the same. I should not expect the man I once knew. I get it."

Chekov furrowed his brow. "I don't vant anyone to misunderstand."

"We don't." She waited patiently. Chekov clearly didn't just wander in here. He had a purpose and she needed to give him enough space to complete it."

"I vill be travelling with Bones and you and the Ambassador back to Wulcan. I am Dr. McCoy's prisoner right now…so to speak."

She smiled softly. "You're going to have a hard time shaking that old man. He put you back together, and now he's determined to get you healthy."

He gave a familiar nod. "I know. I am officially under his command until the investigation is over."

"You'll survive."

"But I von't like it," he said in that dark, Russian tone he used when he felt put upon.

Uhuru resisted another smile. There was still so much of him that was the moody, brilliant boy she knew so well.

"The admiral vill send a team to interroga- I mean, to interview me on Wulcan."

"Let know if there's anything I can do."

"I met with my crew today. It vas horrible. They see me as their hero. I can't stomach it. It vas all I could do to stay calm."

She sighed. "Your crew believes in you."

"I sent out all my letters. I tried to be personal about everyvun."

"I can't imagine, and I pray…I'm just sorry you lost so many."

Chekov frowned and looked away. She sat like a statue, waiting.

He shook his head and finally sought her eyes. "I vant you to know that Jimmy vas a fine, fine officer."

Uhuru gasped a bit. She hadn't anticipated this shift.

Chekov swallowed. "He vas my friend. Ve spent a great deal of off duty together: martial arts, battle scenarios, chess…I feel his loss keenly. I vant you to know that Jimmy vas an excellent officer and he vas my friend."

Tears began to course down her cheeks. "You don't have to do this, Pavel."

Chekov shook his head. "He spoke to me before he died. He vas only concerned about doing his duty, and he didn't suffer…much. I haf sent your aunt a letter, but if you need more, I vill tell you vhat I can."

She stayed rooted to the edge of her bed and let the tears fall. "He was such a beautiful boy."

Chekov raised an eyebrow. "I didn't focus on his beauty. It vould have been a distraction."

She laughed through the tears.

"Nyota, I vould come to you now and comfort you, but I can't. I am not in control of myself."

She nodded and he stood. She stopped him with a wave before he got to the door. "Pavel, you have been through so much. Getting past all of it may be too much for me to ask. It doesn't matter who you are now or who you will be, I still love you very much. You will always be my friend."

Chekov nodded and slipped quickly out into the hall.

Uhuru let her sobs take over, aware that the crying was as much a part of her healing as it was her grieving.

…..

"Jimmy, vhat happened to your face? Jimmy, don't move! Photon torpedoes!" Chekov sat up, breathing hard. Sweat glistened on his chest. The lights were dim in sickbay, but he knew that a dozen monitors had just recorded his nightmare. He felt trapped again.

Bones in a blue robe and ruffled hair wandered in. He didn't say anything; he just stood by the door.

"I haf no privacy," Chekov muttered bitterly.

Bones turned and disappeared. He returned with Chekov's uniform. "A good doctor wouldn't allow this. He'd put you in restraints, if necessary. Currently, you are still being held together by little more than duct tape. But, I guess it's harder when you're not only a doctor and but a friend as well."

"I need to be alone."

"I worry you'll give into your anger."

Chekov looked away.

"You're a Starfleet officer, Chekov. Admiral Kirk has made clear his expectations to you as have I. You will stay on the ship and I want you to be in radio contact with me whenever I choose. You are not allowed to injure yourself. Clear?"

"Yes."

"Then the ship is yours. Wander its hallways. Find its quiet places. Do what you have to in order to feel less confined. Tomorrow, I will arrange for you to have your own cabin."

Chekov sighed deeply. "Thank you."

"Please don't fight me, Pavel. I can't wonder where you are every ten minutes."

"I vill live vithin your guidelines, Doctor."

"I talked to Uhuru. It shouldn't have taken anyone 50 minutes to find you yesterday. She told me that you could have your way with her security division."

"She did? I vas at her cabin a few hours ago and she mentioned nothing."

"That's because she left it up to me to tell you when I thought you were ready. I'm sure they need drills, drills, and more drills. That's the kind of stuff you do for fun, isn't it?"

Chekov slid off the bed and reached for his clothes. "Yes, they need a great deal of discipline."

"I can trust you?"

"Maybe," he looked at Bones out of the corner of his eye as he tugged the tunic over his head. He groaned at the stiff muscles.

Bones frowned. "Be careful. Most of those muscles, joints, and bones are brand new. Give 'em a chance to really heal."

Chekov nodded and then proceeded to get his pants on with similar impatient effort. Bones watched him bolt from the sickbay and yelled after him. "Remember, Chekov, I paid an awful lot for you! You damage yourself and you owe me big time!"

…

Scotty had insinuated himself fully into the Tolstoy investigation to the consternation of the officers in charge. Outwardly, they welcomed his help, but he could tell they were trying to hide certain aspects of the investigation. Within a day after his return from the Sarafina, Scotty found a report in progress that was still hypothesizing that Chekov had overreacted to an attack, didn't adequately employ auxiliary power, the ship was boarded by Gorn, and was further damaged by a meteor before crashing on the planet.

It was a cheap report; the kind of report that lazy or poorly trained officers would put together when rushed or when someone was looking for an easy explanation. Scotty took the report, and headed for the chief investigator, Admiral Warner.

Scotty found Warner in his office. When the admiral looked up, Scotty could tell he was not a welcome guest. Unperturbed, Scotty dropped the report on his desk. "Why are we still entertaining fairy tales, Admiral?"

Warner clasped his hands tersely. "We're open to all hypotheses."

"Captain Chekov has spent most of his life on Starfleet vessels. He's incapable of these kinds of mistakes."

"He's only been a captain for two years. You and I both know that competent officers have risen to that rank and couldn't handle it."

"Not Chekov. Never. I've spent at least 15 of the last 30 years on the same ship as that lad. He reacts as well in a crisis as any officer I've ever seen."

"And he's your friend."

Scotty reddened. "I'm objective! I wouldn't allow my own brother to return to service if he couldn't do the work."

Warner sighed. "We don't know the same Chekov. To the admiralty, he is an officer who has been on the wrong side of several serious incidents. No one is forgetting the Reliant. He is impulsive, erratic at times, and terrifically impolitic. His psychological reports show him quick to act, but also quick to throw himself to put in harm's way. Great for a security officer but questionable for command. The admiralty doesn't understand him either. He comes to events and says nothing or he mumbles in that dreadful accent. He doesn't inspire confidence. It is only his service record that got him this captaincy."

"Politics! He's bad at politics. A lot of good officers aren't political savvy. Look at me!"

Warner chuckled. "Thanks for pointing out the obvious similarities."

Scotty leaned forward. "Men like myself and Chekov…we're workers. We excel on our feet…we don't socialize with many…we don't promote ourselves. These are not are our strengths."

Warner nodded. "You could have been an admiral by now, Captain Scott."

He shrugged. "I don't want it. Each promotion takes me further and further away from my passions. Chekov will make a lousy admiral, but making him a captain was playing to his tremendous skills as a leader."

Warner handed the report back to Scotty. "There are those in the admiralty that opposed his promotion to fleet captain."

"Admiral Kirk was not among them."

"Kirk is the biggest cowboy of all, but he always brought results. Trust me, Captain, there are those who resent Kirk and his many accomplishments as well as his many deviations from protocol. Having Kirk in his corner will only get Chekov so far."

"Is the admiralty more interested in crushing an officer with poor social skills than finding the truth?"

Warner stood up, a tall man of considerable girth and pointed a beefy finger. "I am interested in the truth Captain Scott. Explaining to you the various difficulties at present does not reflect my personal opinions. If this thing is going to get done right, then you got to stop worrying about what other teams are doing, and find me the truth."

…

TBC…Maybe


End file.
